Okay, this might be an unpopular opinion, but if you want to combat the spread of misinformation then you have to let go of any belief that people not talking about an issue means that they don’t care. The only way to reduce the spread of misinformation and disinformation is to research claims before you spread them, and there is so much information constantly being thrown at people through social media and the 24 hour news cycle that it’s impossible to fact check every claim. The same can be said about AI generated images, if you look closely then you can notice certain tells that something is AI generated but no one really has the time to analyze every single image that crosses their path.
If we expect people to talk about and spread information on every social/political/economic issue that occurs then the result will be that people will spread misinformation/disinformation because they will not have the time or mental capacity to research every single thing that happens on Earth just to make sure that they aren’t being fed incorrect information.
Only researching claims that set off a red flag or seem incorrect doesn’t actually do much to prevent misinformation, because there are plenty of claims that will seem correct on the surface or that will align with your view of the world that you won’t think to research. You have to research every claim if you want to avoid misinformation, and you can’t research every claim made by someone online.
The only solution is to accept that some people aren’t going to talk about certain issues, not because they don’t care, but because they have chosen to focus on other issues for the time being and don’t want to talk about an issue that they don’t know much about. And we really need to stop treating that like a bad thing. If you spread yourself too thin then you’re not going to accomplish anything. It’s actually good to have people devoting themselves to learning about and fighting a specific issue, that’s how progress is made.
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, “Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?”
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
You do not respect their rights as an individual.
You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
You probably haven’t been listening to them.
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.
hey look this is one of the most important things you need to understand as a parent.
there is no time in my life that i ever trusted anyone with any information about me that might potentially end up in the hands of my parents. any negative or bad feeling i had about them, my life, my self or anything else was a secret that i was literally willing to die over. i kept no diaries, i had no confidants, and the few times i complained to a sibling about things they did exactly what i thought they would and told my mother.
my relationship with my mother is complicated. it always has been.
at the same time i was telling her nothing about anything my life i was also on the internet as a young teen writing gay porn to get adoring comments from strangers because i was an egotistical young writer and also because i craved this steady stream of approval.
so i’m a single parent now.
i have GONE out of my way to let my child know that her information is safe. her diaries, sketch journals, random notebooks and personal life are hers. they have always been hers. at age 4, at age 8, at age 12 I have never looked at anything of hers that she did not offer to me. if i ask her what she’s working on in art or what she’s chatting to an online friend about and she doesn’t want to tell me, that’s the end of it.
I let her know that I am always available to her when she wants to share and that I only want to know because I like to know what she’s into when she’s ready to share.
we watch anime together, we talk about fandom trends, we laugh about bad straight people romance.
she can literally come to me about anything and we talk about it. she is not shamed for being angry at me or anyone else. she is not shamed for making bad choices. she is not shamed for reading fanfics or thinking or talking about sex.
you know why?
because she’s a fucking person. and she’s only here under my umbrella of protection for a tiny portion of her life. my only job is raising a person who can become the best version of herself. and that starts with teaching her that all people deserve to be treated with respect and understanding.
and yeah, sure, ok there’s a lot of bad out there. you know how i contend with the potential of people who might try to take advantage of her, groom her or convince her to share credit details and naughty pictures of herself online?
i talk to her about it. i have since she got her first animal jam account. these are the things to look for. these are the things that should make you suspicious. these are the facts of what is true and some of the things people might say to you but they are manipulating you.
raise your kids with trust and be honest with them about the bad things. its really not that fucking hard to understand.
The dehumanization of Palestinians in mainstream media and news is massive, I have never seen it this bad in my entire life and it has been abhorrent long before this. It terrifies me to know how widespread it has become especially throughout the imperial core - however - I have also never seen this many people talk about Palestine, either. Palestinian liberation is something on a lot of people’s minds now, solidarity efforts are global and I’ve seen people from all corners of the globe voicing their support. It’s astounding
